Moving On In The Midst Of Divorce – Top Tips
When in the midst of divorce, one can be immobilized, feeling that whatever step one takes will be a misstep. It may seem that the easiest path is to do nothing – stay put. That choice hinders you from moving on. You either stand still or move forward.
How does one get going?
When in divorce, pick a Moving On date and circle that day on your calendar. Look at it. Start your countdown. That is the day you decided to move on in your new life. When that day finally arrives – it will already be in your mindset that moving on is happening.
Tell your friends this Moving On date is occurring. Celebrate it. Go out to lunch or do something enjoyable. Your friends are your cheerleading squad to help motivate, encourage and support you. No turning back to a life that is over. You are getting a divorce and moving on to a new chapter.
There is no template for going forward with your new life in the throes of divorce. What worked for your friend may not necessarily be best for you. Do not worry about what this Moving On entails. It is a work in progress once you get started. Feel free to tweak your game plan as you go along.
How to get started after selecting the date:
First of all, think of yourself outside the sphere that used to contain you and your spouse. Your identity is that of a single person, not part of a pair. No longer “we”, but now “I.” Your focus is on you and what you require to get ahead.
Next, think about what boosts your happiness. Write down three or four things which bring pleasure and joy. Incorporate them in your day-to-day life. When making this short list – you might discover that changing your career would increase your happiness. Or pursuing new endeavours could be the catalyst for moving forward.
What stumbling block is currently hindering your progress in getting to a new chapter in your life? How can you change or get around this obstacle? This is a common issue that I have dealt with as a hypnotherapist. When a client was stuck, hypnosis enabled their subconscious mind to formulate doable strategies. Talking about it to friends or a coach are other options.
What also helps individuals when trying to move on, is visualizing where they would like to be in two years. Looking at one’s life as a timeline helps with movement. How can you get to what you would like to be doing in two, five or ten years? Break it down into steps to achieve these goals. Thinking about your timeline helps one see the bigger picture and not get caught up in only what is right in front of them.
Picking a Moving On date helps you get through the divorce process and keeps you from being stuck on the ground floor.
Wendi Schuller is the author of The Global Guide To Divorce. She also has a children’s book series, starting with Jack Jack The Jungle Cat and videos on You Tube.
Contact
Paradigm Family Law have a team of experienced lawyers to help guide you through the process of divorce, just waiting to hear from you.
If you would like more details on this or want to discuss your family law matter, please do not hesitate to contact James, Frank or Evelyn. Paradigm Family Law offers a free initial consultation with a top rated divorce lawyer and our fixed fee solutions cover financial proceedings from start to finish. You can call us on 01904 217225 or email us to [email protected].
