Divorce is a multifaceted process that involves not just the legal dissolution of marriage but also a profound emotional journey for those involved. Among the myriad reasons that compel couples to part ways, secret relationships and the discovery of secret families stand out as particularly complex and painful catalysts for divorce.

Only recently in the Traitors one of the candidates, Jaz opened up on the moment he found out his father led double life.

This blog delves into the ramifications of these revelations and offers guidance for navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce under such circumstances.

Unveiling the Secret: The Initial Shockwave
The discovery of a spouse’s secret relationship or an entire secret family can be a devastating blow, shattering trust and upending one’s sense of reality. Such revelations bring forth a myriad of emotions, including betrayal, anger, disbelief, and profound sorrow. The sense of betrayal cuts deep, affecting not just the spouse but also the children and extended family members who feel deceived by the charade.

Legal Considerations in the Wake of Deception
From a legal standpoint, the discovery of a secret relationship or family can significantly impact divorce proceedings, particularly in jurisdictions where fault is considered. In England & Wales we have a no-fault divorce now and conduct is only relevant in limited extreme cases. In WC v HC (Financial Remedies Agreement), Mr Justice Peel said the wife’s statement ‘crossed the line and descended into a number of personal, and prejudicial matters’ directed at her ex-husband which were irrelevant to the matters at hand. The criticism was one of a number of issues raised about the preparation of documents that went beyond what was acceptable – and few of which made any difference to the material aspects of the case. However, this might be different where a settlement decision might be stretch financial family resources were diverted to support the secret relationship or family, this might affect the fair distribution of matrimonial assets in conflicting needs cases.

Financial Transparency and Asset Division: It’s crucial to obtain a comprehensive understanding of both parties’ financial situations and to make sure that both parties give full and frank financial disclosure of all their financial resources. Discovery processes may uncover hidden assets or expenses related to the secret family, which can make it emotionally difficult to reach an early settlements.

Child Custody and Support

If there are children from the secret relationship, this may complicate contact arrangements and child maintenance / Schedule 1 Children Act 1989 (orders for financial relief) support obligations of the parties. It’s essential to approach these issues with the children’s best interests at heart, navigating the legal and emotional challenges with sensitivity. This was only seen in a recent public apology from Kyle Walker apologised in public to his Wife and family.

Emotional Toll and Seeking Support
The emotional fallout from such discoveries can be overwhelming. It’s important for the betrayed spouse to seek professional support through therapy or support groups. Professional guidance can provide coping strategies for dealing with the complex emotions and practical advice for moving forward after separation or during the difficult , sometimes in public exposed, difficult time of Conscious Uncoupling.

Paternity Fraud and cuckoo children in Germany
For a long time reputable specialist journals such as the “Zeitschrift für das gesamte Familien-Recht” operate with estimates according to which “around 10 per cent of children in Germany are so-called cuckoo children” – that would have been more than 70,000 of the 715,000 newborns last year alone. However forensic biomedical scientists led by Dr Maarten Larmuseau from the University of Leuven have published a review (Ecology & Evolution 2016, online 6. April). In it, they point to a series of current studies that allow conclusions to be drawn about the past 500 years. In this study, using family trees dating back to the middle of the last millennium, only 0.9 per cent of children per generation were found to have an external paternity.

How do I navigate this difficult Divorce Process

1. Legal Representation: Engage a family law lawyer who understands the complexities of your case. An experienced lawyer can navigate the legal ramifications of secret affairs and families, ensuring your interests are protected.

2. Therapeutic Support: Consider therapy to help process the betrayal and navigate the emotional journey of divorce. Therapy can be beneficial for all family members, including children who may struggle with the revelation.

3. Financial Planning: Work with financial advisors to reassess your financial situation and plan for the future. This includes understanding your entitlements and obligations in the divorce settlement.

4. Co-Parenting and Family Dynamics: If the divorce involves children, including those from the secret relationship, developing a co-parenting plan that prioritizes the children’s well-being is crucial. Transparent communication and professional guidance can help establish a stable environment for the children.

Moving Forward: Rebuilding After Betrayal

The path to healing and rebuilding after the discovery of a secret relationship or family is personal and unique to each individual. It involves not only navigating the legal aspects of divorce but also embarking on a journey of personal growth and healing. Embracing support from loved ones, professionals, and community resources can be invaluable in moving forward.


Divorce precipitated by the discovery of secret relationships or families presents unique challenges that require careful legal and emotional navigation. Protecting your legal rights while also caring for your emotional well-being is paramount. With the right support and resources, individuals can emerge from these trials with resilience and hope for the future.


Paradigm Family Law have a team of experienced and highly recommended divorce lawyers to help guide you through the process of divorce, just waiting to hear from you.

If you would like more details on this or want to discuss your family law matter, please do not hesitate to contact James, Frank, or Evelyn. Paradigm Family Law offers a free initial consultation with a top rated divorce lawyer and our fixed fee solutions cover financial proceedings from start to finish. You can call us on 01904 217225 or email us to [email protected].